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January 14

For Both Men and Women: Signs you are in an Abusive Relationship

When You Should Get out: Signs you are with an Abusive Partner

All the reasons for women and all the reasons for men as stated in the first two articles "For Men 10 Signs you are in a Mediocre Relationship", For "Women: 10 Signs you Are in a Mediocre Relationship" actually apply to both men and women.

You want a relationship that is meaningful and that you enjoy being in. You don’t want a relationship with someone if you dread the upcoming holiday with that person, not knowing if you are even going to enjoy being with that person. You also don’t want to be with that person if you are just plain old not getting along.

It is hard to know exactly when to give up on a relationship. There can be great times and difficult times in most relationships.

The true test of a relationship I believe is when you can make it through the holiday times and then you still want to be together. If you do not…then you know that maybe it is just not the right relationship for you.

These are some of the signs that you are in a bad relationship:

You Feel Put Down By Your Partner
You Feel as though your thoughts, feelings, and opinions don't matter.
You and your partner have nothing in common.
You both live separate lives.
You really don't love each others.
You are only together for the sex, to fill a void, to not be alone.
Your partner does not appreciate the things that are most about you (i.e. your hobbies and interests.)

If you are in a relationships you may also feel controlled by the other person, as though you cannot make your own decisions or think for yourself. You may also feel that you have no right to any privacy at all, or that you are being abused in some way verbally, emotionally, sexually, or physically.

Sometimes people say things that they do not mean from time to time. However, if it occurs too often you or that person may need to make a change.

Sometimes it may be you that is getting angry, and you may not necessarily hit the other person. However, you say things you don’t mean because you may not really want to be in the relationship. You may say those things in order to try to push that person away.

If that is you, just walk away from that relationship peacefully. Otherwise, they you could hurt the other person more. This is true if that other person is hurting you as well. There is no reason that an undesirable relationship needs to continue.

The Joys of Eating at a Restaurant Alone (As a Single Person)

How to Enjoy Being Stuck Eating Along at a Restaurant

I bet you might not even have thought of the good about being stuck eating alone. This list is just a few of those reasons:

You always get to choose the restaurant. Think of all the potential relationships ruined as early as the first date just because you could not agree on what restaurant to go to.
It's less embarrassing. For one, if you get food stuck in your teeth no one is around to care. Furthermore, you are exempt from the pressure of choosing the right place to eat while knowing nothing about the person you are with (if it were a first date).
You don't have to worry about staring too long at the hot waiter or waitress. You can even possibly win a date out of the deal. However, beware of the possibility of not ever being able to eat alone again (smile).
You can double-dip your bread, fries, or other hand-held food as much as you want. This is especially helpful if you order a pizza or breadsticks with marinara dipping sauce or french fries. This special benefit is also good for French Dip sandwiches, fondue plates, and raw vegetable trays.
The restaurant bill costs half as much. What a relief! Nothing more needs to be said about this.
You don't feel obligated to nervously talk a mile a minute to impress someone. Besides, no one cares about most of the stuff you babble about on a first date anyway.
You don't feel pressured to "put out" afterwards. If you are sick and tired of worrying about the ulterior motive of a date tonight you are on your own.
No need to rush home to a house full of children. If you don't have any kids you also don't have a dinner deadline. You can stay in the restaurant for as long as you want, order as many drinks as you want and even go out afterwards.

5:40 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Celebration of Singles

Single Vs. Marriage as a Choice-Contentment as the Key

Single Vs. Marriage as a Choice-Contentment as the Key

Those that want to remain single are just as fine as singles, as married people are just as find as being married. Either way it is important for a person to be content.

If a person is not content, they need to either work hard to change in themselves what will make it possible for them to be content-whether single or married.

Questions to Ask Oneself Before Marriage

Those who are contemplating marriage should ask themselves as many questions as possible, such as the following:

Is it love? Do they see eye to eye? Do they have a stable healthy relationship based on trust?

I firmly believe that if the answer is "no" to anyone of the above-displayed questions, then two people should not get married. They would be better off not committing to a situation that does not seem promising, and continue meeting new people and continue believing that the right person (or a right person) is out there.

If Two People Love Each Other

If two people are married because they want to be together and because they love each other I think they are justified in choosing to be married. If two people choose not to be married then that is okay too, in my opinion.

If you are Contemplating Marriage

In fact, it is wise for two people contemplating marriage to ask them selves questions regarding marriage itself and the person they plan to marry. I personally believe there would be quite a few more twenty-, thirty-and forty-something non-divorced singles out there if people would think more about the choice they are to make.

That does not mean it is too late for those who have been divorced to find true love. This is just a matter of saying...speaking from a thirty-something single who is both proud to be single, and a little afraid of love...lol...

An Additional Note about Single-hood and Marriage

The one thing to remember though is not to let all these desires be all consuming and for a person who is single to be content being single and for those who are married to be content being married, and that neither group should put the other down.

Instead, each group enjoy being single or enjoy being married. Furthermore, married and singles should whenever possible work on enjoying each other whenever possible, because they can learn from one another.

I personally believe my life is much more fulfilled having both married and single friends. They both provide different types of support and also add to my life in different ways.

6:47 AM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Single vs. Marriage

January 10

The Best Part about Going out Alone: Your Freedom!

How to Enjoy Your Single Freedom and Going Out Alone

Did you ever go out with a significant other and feel a little "not your self"? In other words whether you admit it or not you probably always acted just a little bit different around that person than you did if you went out by yourself.

If that is true then you may just learn a little more about you. The best part of going out alone is your total freedom. You can do what you want without feeling censored, squelched, and "chained".

Of course, being single and going out alone does not mean you should live a reckless and carefree existence. You have your self-respect to preserve. You have to remember you will not always be without a partner. On the other hand, no harm is done if you think of the advantages of going out alone.

Different aspects of freedom you can enjoy when going out alone include the following:

You can join others on the dance floor without worrying about what an over-possessive mate will say about it. You can even do "more than dance" with someone without feeling guilty in the morning.

(On the other hand you are reminded to keep in mind the need to preserve your self-respect. Also, remind your self that you do not want to catch an STD by sleeping with everyone who will have you.)

It is exciting, and you get to try things you did not have time to do when you were with your partner. Furthermore, distance may not be as much as an issue because your finances are more freed up than when you were in a serious relationship (assuming you used to be in one).

You can go to the clubs and places you want to go. Likewise, you do not have to consider your partner's needs...mostly because you don't have one right now!

Finally...the best part about going out alone is that you can stay out as late as you want. Certain stipulations apply of course, such as if you are a single parent or if you are still living with mom.

5:53 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Celebration of Singles

January 07

A S.I.N.G.L.E. Acrostic

This poem may seem like a total contradiction to my claim to not make a “religion” out of being single.

I cannot help but relish in the freedom that I have just a little bit. Why not? I am entitled, right? So anyway, here is a poem I just wrote on my view of being single, using the letters “S.I.N.G.L.E.” to create it.

Solo I soar above the clouds

Indifferent to the demands of society.

No one can tell me to stay this way, and

Getting married is still and option.

Love is also as close to me as my

Ever-growing capacity to embrace it.

6:58 AM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Celebration of Singles

Single People vs. Married People

Single People vs. Married People-Who is Better Off?

The ones who often appear by society to be sure of themselves and responsible are those people are those who go to work every day earn a paycheck, have a few kids own a nice house, and have a SPOUSE.

Those who appear by society as being unsure of themselves and irresponsible are those that do not work a nine to five job, rent an apartment and are SINGLE. Which ones of these groups is really better off-married or single?

That is the question, which is not very easy to answer, seeing how the "grass is always greener on the other side." Nevertheless, this blog is an attempt to examine this issue, from a single person's point of view.

Who Really Is Better Off?

Short Answer: No one is really better off. It is just a matter of personal preference.

Long Answer: See below...

It does not necessarily have to be about who is better off, but usually a matter of personal preference. Those who do not want to be alone are not wrong for wanting to be married, and meeting new people for them is not wrong. Likewise, those who do not want to be single are not wrong for wanting to stay single.

The apostle Paul believed that it was better to be single (although some controversy regards this as well, because some people believe the apostle Paul was actually married). He felt as though those who are single can devote their time to the Lord and that they will not have as many fleshly troubles.

However, he (St. Paul) makes it clear that it is okay to be married for those who want to be married. In fact, he also shuns those that say getting married is wrong-meaning that no one should deprive anyone the right to get married. Moreover, the right to want to be married should not be taken away from people as well.

In other words, neither married people nor single people are the better of the two groups. There are a variety of reasons why people are single, and there are a variety of reasons why people are married as well. It is completely a matter of personal preference-to each his or her own, in my opinion.

January 06

I Will Not Spiritualize My Singleness

I remember reading a book once when I was younger. In this book it said not to "spiritualize" your singleness. I thought about that for a long time, and to say honestly I agree.

Believe me...with all the marriages that have failed and that are failing...I definitely agree with that aspect. In fact, a single person who has more going for them will appear more attractive. However, there is one thing that I have not done and will refuse to do since I was in my early 20s.

I will not "spiritualize" my single-ness. What that means is that I am no longer going to just say....

"Oh I am just sitting back and waiting for that right one." Even if that is the major reason why I am not married, I am not going to announce that to everyone.

I am not going to spread around how supposedly proud I am to be single because being single is such as gift. It is true it is a gift, but going around boasting unnecessarily about it would be like the Pharisees who announce how good they are because they fast and pray in public.

Instead, I am just going to continue to better myself with the hope in mind that I will have that person I desire. I truly enjoy being single but believe me it is not a religion, and not for spiritual reasons.

10:01 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Single vs. Marriage

Do you Think We Should Have a “Single’s Day” as a National Celebration (a.k.a. holiday)?

I don’t know if there is such a thing as “Single’s Day” but if not I want to spread the word to make it happen. It is not a religion or a spirituality thing per se although after about five blogs I could see how it would turn into that.

Maybe subconsciously I really don’t want to get married and instead I want to promote a societal shift towards single-ness. Not everyone will go for it so the earth would still be repopulated, but it could serve as a healthier form of population control that would not lead to aids.

Perhaps “Single’s Day” could be the next national holiday declared. Although I know I would prefer to call it a “celebration day” because “holiday” implies that it is a “holy day” which are days usually set aside for God.

But, on the other hand, God could definitely be praised on “Single’s Day” and help keep it a safe celebration. What do you think? Should we have a "Single's Day"?

I mean...after all we have Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Grandparent's Day. (And Secretary's Day and Clergy Appreciation Day and so on.)

9:23 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it

A Person's Work as a Practical State of State of Single-mindedness

The Single Worker Has a Purpose

I have mentioned in another blog entry that that being single won’t get you to heaven. Rather, there is a practical way to enjoy being single, and a productive way to be single-minded.

One of the most obvious examples of practical single-mindedness is the hard-working executive woman. Often she yearns for a home and a family yet she also enjoys sitting in a conference room along with other tailored-dressed men and women.

The single man also can enjoy a practical state of single-mindedness as well. Sure, we all know he is a person driven to succeed, and that often money is not an obstacle to building a happy home. It may just be that he enjoys part-time romantic company by firelight knowing that he is not obligated to stay with her for the rest of his life.

Both single men and women can take the time to climb the social and corporate ladders at will when they are single. Although work is not everything, no one cannot help but feel elation at even the littlest milestone of corporate success. This is one type of practical single-mindedness that serves a purpose.

8:38 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Health and wellness

January 04

Humor: Celebrate the Joy of Being Single-“Happy Single’s Day”

By Fishtail1776

I don’t want to “spiritualize” being single and I don’t want to make a religion out of it either. But hey! I think there should be a celebration day set aside for single people. I want to declare a day for “Happy Single’s Day”.

Maybe this day should be on February 15^th, the day after Valentine’s Day. That would be perfect for people getting divorces around this time of the year wouldn’t it? They could finalize their divorce on V-Day, and then celebrate on S-Day after doing a midnight victory dance.

7:12 AM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Celebration of Singles

Being Single Won’t Get you to Heaven

There is something to be said to be content as a single person, but there is no need to make a religion out of it. Being single is not a ticket to heaven, but rather just a way of life here on earth that many people choose to live.

There doesn’t have to be some great mystical reason of the universe or some Divine reason why some people are single. It could be that God has not brought them the “right” person yet or it could be simply that they prefer to live alone and to have the freedom to make their own decisions.

Being single can be a gift, depending upon whether a person likes to be alone or not. However, there is no need to “insist” that being single is the “right” way to go because every person on this earth has different needs. As I said earlier, being single will not get you to heaven.

7:09 AM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Single vs. Marriage