Note: Apart from getting "Knocked Up" (at least in most cases) this article can apply to a man as well.

I believe in a hand up to be able to make a better life for myself. I also believe that there is no substitute for hard work when it comes to achieving financial stability.

However, I have often felt as though every time I try to get help I just fall through the cracks. Yes, I can receive financial aid to go to back to college and so on and so forth, and probably will do so soon.

Not Getting "Knocked Up" Should be Rewarded

However, I often have felt overlooked being a single woman with no kids. Worse yet, I have often felt penalized by the federal and state governments for being responsible and not having a child.

It seems far easier for women who have children to receive help than it is for a low-income single woman who does not have a child. I do not think that is right at all.

Although I am conflicted about the government being too involved in my business, I think that I should be able to receive some type of medical assistance even if I am not considered disabled.

I think that women-and men also-who are hard workers should at least be able to receive some type of medical assistance. At the very least they should be able to go to the doctor and receive check-ups and not have to wait until they have a medical emergency.

Prevention is Better and Less Expensive

Regarding receiving some type of medical assistance for regular checkups, I think it would save the government plenty of dollars in the long run. The government would be less likely to have to fork out money in the event someone becomes incapacitated as a result of a medical emergency.

I think more singles should be concerned about this. I don't think the government should do everything for us, but I do think that they we should receive a hand up such as medical insurance, say if we work consistently 30 hours a week for a given amount of time.

Men and women both do it all the time. They want to see if their partners care about them, so what do they do? Take one wild guess.

If you guessed that they try to make each other jealous you have guessed right. I have had it happen to me all the time, and I am ashamed to confess that I-well at least subconsciously-have made others jealous.

Why the "Make the other Jealous" Tactic?

Truthfully it is a major sign of immaturity. The person cannot just simply come out and ask...'do you care about me' instead of playing their passive aggressive games.

What Exactly is the "Make the other Jealous" Tactic?

It is when the person tells you he or she spent time with someone of the opposite sex, and they try to go on and on about what they did with that person. It may be as innocent as just going to the store or as extravagant as going on a date with another and spending the night with someone else.

Making another person jealous often does not involve extramarital or extra-relationship sex. Rather, it is the intend to make it look to the partner like he or she did or will do so soon.

Exploring the "Make Each Other Jealous" Tactic on a Deeper Level

Often times people do that immature B.S. out of pure frustration. However, sometimes they do it because they are afraid. They are afraid of being laughed at, ridiculed, criticized, or insulted by their partners.

It's not that when a partner makes the other jealous they are making life any easier for them selves. However, the reason why they are often afraid is because they do not want to fear their thoughts and feelings will be disregarded again. Therefore, they often are at wits end and they will do whatever they can to get the other person's attention.

For Those on the Receiving End of the "Make You Jealous" Act

If you are a victim of the "Make You Jealous" tactic don't show any emotion. That may seem cold-hearted.

However, if your partner or spouse calls and says 'I spent all night at (insert name) house' just say "Okay". And then act as if nothing happened.

You are not responsible for reading that person's mind or having to fish for reasons why that person is mad at you all the time. So, just say your polite or even mushy goodbyes and then...

Just wait for that person to call you. If a few days go by he or she may be wondering why you have not called and then they will ask you. This is a good time to tell them that they can just ask you if you care about that person.

If The Victim of the "Make You Jealous" Tactic Needs to Change Too...

Your immature partner may have his or her set of problems. However, remember so do you.

Perhaps you need to practicing better listening skills or you need to try to make more of an effort to truly get to know your partner. More importantly, when another individual brings up an important concern in a relationship it is not always because they want to "pick a fight".

They may genuinely have an issue with you. And that issue needs to be resolved before the relationship can grow. If it is too huge to solve right away at least your partner needs to see that you at least are willing to discuss the issue, whatever it may be.

If Things are so Bad...

Well...there comes a point in every frustrating relationship where you have to decide whether or not you can handle it or not. If not then you either have to find a way to deal with it or move on.

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Dump that Jerk A Matter-of-Fact Blog for Fed-Up Single Women

J.A.B.'s Freelance World-A Whole New World of Writing

Regarding Point: "No Short Shorts Allowed-At All"

 

Quote: Yes, Madonna is 49 years old and she’s wearing hot pants [short-shorts], but let’s face it: You’re not

Madonna!"

My Response:

All I can say is what the hell is that supposed to mean? I am in my mid-30s and still single. Heck if I am 50 and still single and I want to look sexy I will do that.

I mean, older single women need to keep up their figure in order to be able to find someone later in life. Give me a break. The competition is hard enough!

Granted, I don't know if I would wear short shorts when I'm 50. But not all 50 years old have wrinkly skin. I think if a person looks good wear it, if not don't. It should not matter what age you are.

I do, however like the sophisticated alternative suggested-a short casual skirt. I do agree with that. How about a compromise...skorts??

Regarding: "No Tie Dye or Grateful Dead Shirts at All"-What?! Come on!

My Response:

*I have seen men in their late 40s/early 50s do it all the time. What is so special about them?! I would say at least a tie dye or grateful dead T-shirt should be "allowed". Who are these fashion police anyway?

I petition for at least to be able to wear a tie-dyed t-shirt with a pair of plain or slightly-faded jeans. That is if tie-dye is still popular in about 15 years.

I think that some people do go overboard, with the ripped jeans, tie dye shirt, long earrings, and excess beads. However, tie-dye at any age when done right should be fine. I think it depends primarily on what type of people you hang out with as well and what profession you have.

Regarding: "No Ripped Jeans for over 35-Year Olds"

My Response

Well...all I can say is I think it should only matter how ripped they are and where. Besides, what if ripped jeans suddenly becomes sophisticated in the next few years for older women?

However, I must say I am not a huge fan of ripped jeans. I may embroider or glitterize the ripped spots in some of my older pairs. I love crafts anyway, and it will give me something to do if and when I ever have the time.

Regarding: "Light or Bright Colored Leggings"

My Response

Well, I must say I agree on this one. They would look goofy at any age-unless you are a clown or its still the 1980s. Enough said about that! You should see slide #5 of the ". . .Dress Your Age" article.

Regarding Other Misc. Tips: "Don't Overdo the Ruffles, Watch Midriffs, Off-the-Shoulder Shirts, and Sheer-over-Sheer"

My Response II think what matters most is what looks great. That should be most important, versus the age issue. Also, some of the sheer stuff would like great-at least in the bedroom.

These tips actually should apply at any age. Actually I think most of the fashion tips at any age. (Come on, how many of you have seen older people a lot healthier and sexier looking than younger people?)

It is also recommended to watch level and or concentration of on the gladiator sandals, tan lines, sparkly make-up, platform shoes, and dark red lipstick. That is always great advice.

My Personal Addendum-Fashion has "Rules" At Any Age

What a person wears depends upon way more than just age. It depends upon which school you go to, whether you work at home or not (heck some days I don't even take a shower), or who you socialize with. (Not I said "socialize" and not "hang out" with, which is a more mature phrase.)

Therefore, though it is nice to have guidelines of what would be proper dress at a given age remember that these rules were made for a reason. In fact, I once heard a saying: "You have to know the rules before you can break them."

Indeed in the fashion world that is very much the case. Otherwise, we would have never heard of some of the biggest fashion design names today.  
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J.A.B.'s Freelance World-A Whole New World of Writing

Dump that Jerk: A Matter-of-Fact Blog for Fed up Single Women (off site blog) 

 

 

 

Dump that Jerk: A Matter-of-Fact Blog for Fed up Single Women (offsite blog) 

 

 

 

Regarding Point #1: "Tie-the-Knot-Trait 1: She's Exciting and Always Evolving"

 

Quote: "You know how every season finale of your favorite TV show ends with a million unanswered questions and you can't freaking wait for the next one? Well, a girl can give her guy that same thrilling mix of exhilaration and anticipation by surprising him...

"She does this by being spontaneous and a little unpredictable, taking on new interests all the time, and revealing different facets of herself," explains Alon Gratch, Ph.D., author of If Love Could Think. By never letting life get static, this woman busts the myth that being married means feeling humdrum. "She makes being with her an adventure, as if there's always a new idea or activity just around the bend," says Gratch."

My Response:

Good point...I realize that this is a quote from a book that the author of the article "Why Guys Marry some Girls" is referring to, and I have heard some of this before. I do agree and yet I feel I have done my part to prove that I am exciting enough. I have a variety of different activities I enjoy and I also would shudder to think of spending every waking minute with a man. I don't care how much I love him.

However...I like some of the other quotes as well, regarding that variety in a relationship is great. I usually am the one who has this problem with the men I date. So I must admit that I am a little shocked to realize men have this problem as well. However, I must admit that I think it can sometimes be very exhausting trying to come up with new ideas. I am not the only one in the relationship. Pa-lease, as I am a wonderful woman and I am tired of being taken for granted.

Regarding Point #2: "She Really, Really Loves Sex"

My Response:

I have mixed feelings about this point. I used to be a virgin because I wanted to wait until I was married. Either way, even though I have given in to this carnal pleasure I must admit I do really enjoy sex. I enjoy it best with someone I care a lot about. Someone I love. I cannot conceive of doing "weird positions" with someone I don't know that well-and believe me (sorry to admit) I did try that.

I am happy to be a sexual individual. However, I am worried that one person I loved very much has lost respect for me because of it. He made a comment saying that he "knows me too well" and that I am "more wild than he expected me to be."

I was not sure whether to take that as a compliment or as an insult. What did he think we were going to do after we were married anyway? One of the reasons I wanted to get married in the first place was so we could have sex, and I wanted it to be with a man I love, and someone I am good friends with.

As far as I know some men need to grow up, because they cannot have excitement all the time.  I want to have a relationship of not boredom but of quiet contentment. Personally, I am tired of drama. However, it doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun-in and out of the sheets.

I thought that liking sex more would help me, but I find it to be somewhat to my detriment. In fact, I think the fact that I do enjoy sex scares men. Some of them are the one with the problem, not me. (That's what they get for accusing me of the possibility of not being able to enjoy sex because of my "past.")

Tie-the-Knot-Trait 3: "She Makes It Clear He's Not Her Entire Life"

My Response

Good Point...I think I have more than proved this point. I have plenty of interests and hobbies apart from any primary partner I have ever had. I am actually very good at asserting my independence. I have not found someone yet who respects that.

However... I have pushed people away in the past and I am tired of the games men play. It seems that a lot of them are addicted to the chase. Then, when they get the woman they take her for granted. They make her feel bad just because she wants company, companionship, a relationship that is based on love and not just sex. I have yet to meet a man who wants me when he has me.

Tie-the-Knot-Trait 4: ...Yet She Still Conveys How Very Important He Is to Her

My Response

I have gotten a lot better at this the past few years, as I pushed away one man that I now believe really loved me. I now try to make sure I find a balance between showing that person what that person means to me and not being too needy.

I this this point is very very important:  

Quote:"Okay, so men dig independent chicks. But there's a fine line between being independent and acting aloof and detached. Guys settle down with a woman who regularly reveals her tender side and shows him that no matter what happens, she's got his back.

"Men view life as a struggle or war that they're fighting, and they want someone who'll be on their side at all times, through thick and thin," says Gratch. "This doesn't mean that a woman should mother him or assist him with every little detail of his life; it's more about consistently doing small, nurturing things that let him know you really care."

My Response I agree with those two paragraphs the most. I learned this lesson the hard way in the past few years, not realizing that the things I thought were important to me when I was younger would no longer matter now that I am older.

Tie-the-Knot-Trait 5: She Wants Him to Be the Best Man He Can Be

My Response

I like to encourage the man I am with to be the best that he can be. However, if he even expresses the slightest inclination that he thinks I am incapable of relationship, taking care of family, or having success in a career, I take revenge by shutting him out.

At that point I will tell him I have my own d*mn self to take care of and I have my own d*mn career to be concerned about. It is his loss if he wants to reject me. I realize, however, that I have to learn to be less critical and less pushy at times (or most the time.)

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Dump that Jerk: A Matter-of-Fact Blog for Fed up Single Women (offsite blog)