I should make it perfectly clear though that there are other reasons besides being gay or a cheater why your significant other may not want to have sex any more. I myself wonder if it was a mistake to go down that road myself, mainly because I am dealing with a lot of hurt right now because of it.

(Thus, consequently you or that person might realize the current relationship you are in will not work. That is right now not the main point of this.)

Top 7 Reasons for Not Having Sex

1. Men and women everywhere are tired of the drama. Sometimes the pleasure they receive is just not worth it any more. I think I am getting to that point right now. I am enjoying the peacefulness that comes with being alone-though sometimes lonely.

2. It could be that they are not attracted to the person. This could be your worst nightmare, but remember it may not have anything to do with you but that person. This is especially true of you are a man and your woman is rejecting you.

You need to realize that oftentimes women need to be connected to a man on an emotional level to be able to be attracted to them. I think in some ways it is different for men who initially are very attracted to someone and then lose it because there is no substance or no connection.

3. Fear of getting diseases. The simple fact remains that the more sex you have the more prone you are to diseases. One way to avoid all of that is abstinence. The second-best option would be to remain with the same partner as long as it is a trustworthy partner.

4. Sometimes people just need a break! Sex sometimes does a number on a person emotionally, usually for women but often for men as well. Sometimes the whirlwind of emotions attached to it results in too much heartbreak and sometimes people are just tired of it and do not want to take the risk any more.

5. For spiritual reasons. Sometimes people just decide that it is better to wait until marriage. I regret not waiting until I was married, although I must admit experiencing this at one time was more important to me than waiting for the right person.

6. They may not be feeling well. This often is the case when a person has a chronic illness or is physically unable to have sex.

7. Physical distance. Maybe two people really do want to be together but they live a long ways from one another. In some cases, that emotional connection is more important than any physical connection they could have with someone else. 

6. Past abuse.   This is another reason that is quite complicated. Many people have been violated and their innocence has been taken away from them. Therefore, they have a hard time being close to anyone emotionally or physically.

Of course, there are other reasons why people do not want to have sex. However, this covers reasons other than the two top accusations made by people who do not want to have it. Not everyone is gay and not everyone cheats.

Sometimes thought it is not for really any "reason" other than some people just think it is better not to do it. It's that simple.  

Learn the meaning of sex.

I must admit some of the content of Catch Him and Keep Him by Chris Carpenter was hard for me to swallow at first. I took some of what he was saying in some of his newsletters related to this product personally.

However, after I stopped thinking, he is just attacking women; I must admit I have learned a few things from this production. Besides, I probably deserve a little bit of criticism after all the negative things I said about men in my lifetime.

What I learned from this Book (So far)

Men are different from women in how they choose a mate. What I never realized is that they pick a woman according to how he feels towards that woman. This may or may not be based on how she acts, but mostly is based on how she draws him into himself (emotionally).

My Response: That actually surprises me quite a bit. This bit of insight actually contradicts everything that I have ever heard about men. For instance, there is a huge stereotype that men do not have feelings and that they always make important decisions in a logical manner. This to me explains why oftentimes men wind up with women that are a little bit "bad" versus ending up with "the good girl."

Men do not choose a mate based on how many weeks, months, or years they have dated her. Again, it is mostly on how he feels inside towards that woman-how she "makes" him feel. In short, it is that the woman he is with makes him feel like a better person-or to want to be a better person.

My Response: I guess that explains why sometimes guys will approach women about getting married within the first few months of dating. I am ashamed to admit I "freaked out" when this happened to men about eight years ago. (Poor guy!) The problem is that women like me are the type of person who would base that decision "logical" conclusions.

For instance, I might evaluate a guy on the following: how well we get along, how long we have dated, whether or not I get along with his mother, etc. I honestly don't think I will ever change that about me. Sorry guys. However, it does give me a perspective on how guys choose a woman, which is good to know, and I will try to be sensitive in this area in the future.

I have also just learned lately that women often do things subconsciously to push men away. They may be afraid to open up to a man or they may open up to quickly. They might also present themselves as insecure with too much "baggage" and "guilt trips" attached to relationships. They might also be too hung up on where the relationship is going to enjoy it.

My Response: I think this is the hardest one for women to overcome. In defense of women, I can say it sometimes is because they blindly fall in love with men who make promises they do not keep. Women who have a low self-esteem or women who just for whatever reason are afraid of being hurt struggle with this issue.

It also could be because a woman may not want to waste any more time in relationships that are not going to work out. I myself probably would fall into the last category.

I have at times in my life taken breaks from relationships just to take time to heal for that reason. I think any woman who is hurting should take a break then later on they may be able to trust again.

I will share what else I have learned about this product in the next upcoming weeks. I hope that you can begin to learn from this production as well.

Precautions about this Material

The one major suggestion I have about this material for women is this: make sure you do not get too hung up on all your faults while viewing this material. Becoming too obsessed with everything you are doing wrong could also drive a man away.

Just take what you can use and do not spend too much time reading this material if you are currently caught in a slump and feeling sorry for yourself.

About the Content: If you are concerned about finding dating advice from a Christian perspective I must admit this is a secular book and thus contains references to sexual relationships from a seculiar (wordly) point of view. However, I still recommend it because it shows valuable information about men and how they think.

Catch Him and Keep Him!

When it comes to relationships, I think we lose something as adults that we had as teens. Now, I do not want to scare people who have teenage sons or daughters when I say this.

However, I just feel the need to be open and honest and just talk about things the way I see it.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say...

I remember how easy it was as a teenager to decide whether I wanted to be with someone or not. That when I had not much of a care in the world as far as not having the same kind of relationship “baggage” I do now.

What I mean is that when I was a teenager the concept of relationships seemed so simple to me. Now, I did not date very much in high school-only a few times and those relationships lasted an average of too weeks. There was one person though that I really did care about-the only person I really cared about-at that time. What I remember of that relationship and how it influenced me in various ways I have shared in my story.

My Story

I would think about a particular person I used to date in high school every so often especially when I was having struggles in my current relationships over the years. I often wondered why I thought about this individual even though I was only 15 and he was only 16 when we first got together. We of course are not together now for probably the same reasons most teenagers do not end up together.

I am not going to speak for him but I myself knew had a life to live. I wanted to achieve my dreams, I wanted to travel, and I wanted success. However, that does not refute fact that he was the one person at the time that meant the most to me besides my family. Also, he was one of the very few people in my life that new me for who I really was (for the most part anyway).

When I look back on that time in my life, I often feel sad. I feel like I lost not only someone very valuable but also the ability to just be comfortable in a relationship as I was then. What was different then for me? I have been thinking quite a bit about that time in my life lately, mostly because I have wanted to know what is so different now for me than then?

I wanted to know why it was so easy for me to decide who I do or do not want to be with then than it is now. However, in this I realize that my concentration should have not been so much on the "why" but rather the "what."

What it really was about that time in my life that is different from now, which is primarily two things:

• I was with a person that I knew cared about me, and aside from my family, friends, and career goals that is all that mattered to me.
• Since I was with someone that cared about me, I saw no need to meet anyone new. I also new I wanted to be with him. It was just that simple for me.

However, part of the problem with that simple thinking is that it was a little bit too black and white. I took it for granted that not everyone is like me or that not everyone thinks like me. It is not always that simple, and that thinking has gotten me into big trouble.

What I mean is at that time in my life I just assumed that if a person ends a relationship with someone that it just means that the person just does not want to be with the other. I assumed this regardless of the reason of the breakup, which I honestly did not know until years later.

Now, I should also add that on the other hand in most cases it is fair to assume that if someone breaks up with you that it does mean that the person does not want to be with you.

Likewise, most of the time I would say it is fair to assume you are doing right by just moving on and letting someone into your life that really does want to be with you. However, thinking back on my own life I can say that is not always that simple, as I have already mentioned.

In my case, I have at times in my life am also broke up with a person I had been with more than once. In this case, I did because I felt rejected by this particular individual-so rejected that it was hard for me to be around the person. That has nothing to do with how I felt about that person.

That is one example in which a breakup is not totally black and white and not totally based on whether I want to be with that individual or not. Therefore, as I got older I have perhaps gained more understanding.

Also, I should say that decisions such as whether or not to say with a person are the types of decisions that are not necessary right or wrong. Therefore, when these decisions need to be made it is not something that any individual should feel bad about.

Anyway...back to my point...

My original point of writing this was that I think that as adults we lose something that we had when we were younger. We often lose our ability to just make a decision about a relationship and stick with it. I know I have struggled with that for quite a few years.

Of course, on the surface it may seem that it is only because of all the fears of rejection as well as fear of loss or not being good enough that holds me back. Likewise, it may seem it is because of the fear of a relationship not working out-and spending too much time thinking about that. This of course is very valid and very true.

However, more than that it is because of what I have forgotten over the years. It also is about the simplicity of youth that is not as bad as people make it out to be. I am not saying that every young person should just settle down with the first person they ever cared about either.

I know that I for sure was not planning to mainly because of the reasons I already shared-that I wanted to take time to live my life. I also wanted to better myself, go to college, and a number of other things.

However, I could not help but at least wonder what would have happened if I had stayed with that person no matter how young we were. I also couldn't help but wonder how it would have turned out. This is all beside the point, though and still not the main reason for my writing this.

So...I suppose I should get to the point already, shouldn't I?

What I am really trying to say is...

With this person I speak of it was actually the only time in my life I was with someone simply because I wanted to be and for no other reason. I did not need a long list of reasons why or why not to stay with that person. I just felt a real connection with that person and I did not feel any reason to question it.

Now, of course life gets more complicated as we get older and we all grow up. However, I still miss the simplicity of those days that I think some adults should have but have lost (mostly speaking of myself). However, I miss the simplicity of how I was with a person "just because." Of course, it was also because we did have a lot in common and I never realized that until within the past year, but besides all of that I remember that the reason I was with that person was because I chose to be.

That is a fact that I will try to remember no matter what direction in life I go. It is the one thing that gives me hope and the one thing that causes me to not want to except anything less than that which I had already a long time ago.

Hello,

I am back again. I just posted a new editorial at Ezine Articles.com because I think singles should be concerned about politics as well as those with people who have families.

I am grateful that all sides of the health care debate are being explored. I was worried for awhile that congress was going to make a rash decision regarding this matter. I am now very much glad they are not. "We the People" cannot slow down.

Congress may be taking a break but we need to continue our work. America is not America without us! The people!

We need to keep jamming their mailboxes full of relevant, intelligent cases regardless of what point of view we support-either for or against nationalized health care. I guess one of the latest concerns since this past Tuesday has been regarding whether or not Congress was going to "require" assisted deaths for senior citizens. This may very well never happen, but it is one issue that still needed to be addressed nonetheless.

Of course, I already spoke more than once against unnecessary violence, vandalism, etc. But I hope that you all get my point whether you fully agree with me or not. Either way we do not want to lose our freedom. Once you lose something that precious it is very hard to get back.

I guess that's why I have been obsessed with blogging so much this week. Afraid that it could be taken away at some point. Hope not but it is always a fear in the back of my mind. I am very happy to see that our country is getting involved in this very important matter, though.

I agree with this article, especially about the part referring to women no longer setting their bars high. That is exactly what happened to me lately as I got lonelier and lonelier.

Women need to be careful because otherwise they could wind up with nothing but emotional scars and the possibility of getting an STD. If they are not careful then could also just wind up in a relationship that is way beneath them.

I would also add by saying that if a woman decides to lower the bar it is basically saying she does not have an self-respect. It is saying that she does not deserve a many who truly cares about her as much as he cares about himself.

I am not going to promise that I will always "Think Like a Man." However, I will say that there is some value in learning how men think.

Quote

Talking about Steve Harvey's Dating Advice for Women
Though primarily known as a comedian, Steve Harvey is also a writer whose new book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" is intended to provide honest relationship insights that empower women. Learn more …

Usually "sugar daddy dating" applies to older men dating younger women. This may be for reasons of sex (or money for the "sugar babes" they spend time with). However, it often is just because they feel good hanging around younger women, and the women don't seem to mind. "Real Sugar Daddy" applies to an online dating service that caters to this type of dating.

Advantages of "Real Sugar Daddy" Dating

The advantages of this type of dating applies to both why do to it online and why "sugar daddy dating" in general. "Real Sugar Daddy" dating often takes place for one of the following reasons:

• Men (the "sugar daddies") women (the "sugar babes") are both seeking for something or someone better. So you say doesn't everyone want something better? Well, yes but usually this type of dating pertains to well-established men seeking out exceptionally beautiful and/or talented and sophisticated women.
  
• They are looking for a more "whole" or "sane" person. They may also be looking for someone with less drama and who is more "together" either financially or emotionally.
  
• Perhaps Real Sugar Daddy daters are people who just want to hang out with a more intelligent person. For instance, they may seek someone who is more into the arts, has seen the world, or is eager to learn.
  
• Other people who may seek dates on a site like Real Sugar Daddies.com may simply be looking for a way to feel better about them selves. If it is a man they may feel better when they are arm in arm with a sexy woman. If they are a female they may enjoy riding around with a man who owns a luxury vehicle.

Disadvantages of "Real Sugar Daddy" Dating

The main disadvantage is the looks and stares you may get from other people. They may be jealous that you have it all or they may think people who date outside their normal age range are just using each other. Quite a bit of stigma surrounds the concept of Real Sugar Daddy Dating. However, if you truly desire the best in life and this is the way that you think you can find it, who cares what others think?

What matters the most is that you are happy. When it comes down to it, no matter where you meet your next date you cannot choose who you like. Even more importantly for some is the fact that you cannot choose who you fall in love with.

Real Sugar Daddy dating is a suitable whether you are just looking for a part-time companion, or whether you are searching for someone to share your whole life with. It does not guarantee you happiness, but for some it is a step in the right direction.

___ This article is written by:

Note: Apart from getting "Knocked Up" (at least in most cases) this article can apply to a man as well.

I believe in a hand up to be able to make a better life for myself. I also believe that there is no substitute for hard work when it comes to achieving financial stability.

However, I have often felt as though every time I try to get help I just fall through the cracks. Yes, I can receive financial aid to go to back to college and so on and so forth, and probably will do so soon.

Not Getting "Knocked Up" Should be Rewarded

However, I often have felt overlooked being a single woman with no kids. Worse yet, I have often felt penalized by the federal and state governments for being responsible and not having a child.

It seems far easier for women who have children to receive help than it is for a low-income single woman who does not have a child. I do not think that is right at all.

Although I am conflicted about the government being too involved in my business, I think that I should be able to receive some type of medical assistance even if I am not considered disabled.

I think that women-and men also-who are hard workers should at least be able to receive some type of medical assistance. At the very least they should be able to go to the doctor and receive check-ups and not have to wait until they have a medical emergency.

Prevention is Better and Less Expensive

Regarding receiving some type of medical assistance for regular checkups, I think it would save the government plenty of dollars in the long run. The government would be less likely to have to fork out money in the event someone becomes incapacitated as a result of a medical emergency.

I think more singles should be concerned about this. I don't think the government should do everything for us, but I do think that they we should receive a hand up such as medical insurance, say if we work consistently 30 hours a week for a given amount of time.

Men and women both do it all the time. They want to see if their partners care about them, so what do they do? Take one wild guess.

If you guessed that they try to make each other jealous you have guessed right. I have had it happen to me all the time, and I am ashamed to confess that I-well at least subconsciously-have made others jealous.

Why the "Make the other Jealous" Tactic?

Truthfully it is a major sign of immaturity. The person cannot just simply come out and ask...'do you care about me' instead of playing their passive aggressive games.

What Exactly is the "Make the other Jealous" Tactic?

It is when the person tells you he or she spent time with someone of the opposite sex, and they try to go on and on about what they did with that person. It may be as innocent as just going to the store or as extravagant as going on a date with another and spending the night with someone else.

Making another person jealous often does not involve extramarital or extra-relationship sex. Rather, it is the intend to make it look to the partner like he or she did or will do so soon.

Exploring the "Make Each Other Jealous" Tactic on a Deeper Level

Often times people do that immature B.S. out of pure frustration. However, sometimes they do it because they are afraid. They are afraid of being laughed at, ridiculed, criticized, or insulted by their partners.

It's not that when a partner makes the other jealous they are making life any easier for them selves. However, the reason why they are often afraid is because they do not want to fear their thoughts and feelings will be disregarded again. Therefore, they often are at wits end and they will do whatever they can to get the other person's attention.

For Those on the Receiving End of the "Make You Jealous" Act

If you are a victim of the "Make You Jealous" tactic don't show any emotion. That may seem cold-hearted.

However, if your partner or spouse calls and says 'I spent all night at (insert name) house' just say "Okay". And then act as if nothing happened.

You are not responsible for reading that person's mind or having to fish for reasons why that person is mad at you all the time. So, just say your polite or even mushy goodbyes and then...

Just wait for that person to call you. If a few days go by he or she may be wondering why you have not called and then they will ask you. This is a good time to tell them that they can just ask you if you care about that person.

If The Victim of the "Make You Jealous" Tactic Needs to Change Too...

Your immature partner may have his or her set of problems. However, remember so do you.

Perhaps you need to practicing better listening skills or you need to try to make more of an effort to truly get to know your partner. More importantly, when another individual brings up an important concern in a relationship it is not always because they want to "pick a fight".

They may genuinely have an issue with you. And that issue needs to be resolved before the relationship can grow. If it is too huge to solve right away at least your partner needs to see that you at least are willing to discuss the issue, whatever it may be.

If Things are so Bad...

Well...there comes a point in every frustrating relationship where you have to decide whether or not you can handle it or not. If not then you either have to find a way to deal with it or move on.

____

Dump that Jerk A Matter-of-Fact Blog for Fed-Up Single Women

J.A.B.'s Freelance World-A Whole New World of Writing

Regarding Point: "No Short Shorts Allowed-At All"

 

Quote: Yes, Madonna is 49 years old and she’s wearing hot pants [short-shorts], but let’s face it: You’re not

Madonna!"

My Response:

All I can say is what the hell is that supposed to mean? I am in my mid-30s and still single. Heck if I am 50 and still single and I want to look sexy I will do that.

I mean, older single women need to keep up their figure in order to be able to find someone later in life. Give me a break. The competition is hard enough!

Granted, I don't know if I would wear short shorts when I'm 50. But not all 50 years old have wrinkly skin. I think if a person looks good wear it, if not don't. It should not matter what age you are.

I do, however like the sophisticated alternative suggested-a short casual skirt. I do agree with that. How about a compromise...skorts??

Regarding: "No Tie Dye or Grateful Dead Shirts at All"-What?! Come on!

My Response:

*I have seen men in their late 40s/early 50s do it all the time. What is so special about them?! I would say at least a tie dye or grateful dead T-shirt should be "allowed". Who are these fashion police anyway?

I petition for at least to be able to wear a tie-dyed t-shirt with a pair of plain or slightly-faded jeans. That is if tie-dye is still popular in about 15 years.

I think that some people do go overboard, with the ripped jeans, tie dye shirt, long earrings, and excess beads. However, tie-dye at any age when done right should be fine. I think it depends primarily on what type of people you hang out with as well and what profession you have.

Regarding: "No Ripped Jeans for over 35-Year Olds"

My Response

Well...all I can say is I think it should only matter how ripped they are and where. Besides, what if ripped jeans suddenly becomes sophisticated in the next few years for older women?

However, I must say I am not a huge fan of ripped jeans. I may embroider or glitterize the ripped spots in some of my older pairs. I love crafts anyway, and it will give me something to do if and when I ever have the time.

Regarding: "Light or Bright Colored Leggings"

My Response

Well, I must say I agree on this one. They would look goofy at any age-unless you are a clown or its still the 1980s. Enough said about that! You should see slide #5 of the ". . .Dress Your Age" article.

Regarding Other Misc. Tips: "Don't Overdo the Ruffles, Watch Midriffs, Off-the-Shoulder Shirts, and Sheer-over-Sheer"

My Response II think what matters most is what looks great. That should be most important, versus the age issue. Also, some of the sheer stuff would like great-at least in the bedroom.

These tips actually should apply at any age. Actually I think most of the fashion tips at any age. (Come on, how many of you have seen older people a lot healthier and sexier looking than younger people?)

It is also recommended to watch level and or concentration of on the gladiator sandals, tan lines, sparkly make-up, platform shoes, and dark red lipstick. That is always great advice.

My Personal Addendum-Fashion has "Rules" At Any Age

What a person wears depends upon way more than just age. It depends upon which school you go to, whether you work at home or not (heck some days I don't even take a shower), or who you socialize with. (Not I said "socialize" and not "hang out" with, which is a more mature phrase.)

Therefore, though it is nice to have guidelines of what would be proper dress at a given age remember that these rules were made for a reason. In fact, I once heard a saying: "You have to know the rules before you can break them."

Indeed in the fashion world that is very much the case. Otherwise, we would have never heard of some of the biggest fashion design names today.  
___

J.A.B.'s Freelance World-A Whole New World of Writing

Dump that Jerk: A Matter-of-Fact Blog for Fed up Single Women (off site blog) 

 

 

 

Dump that Jerk: A Matter-of-Fact Blog for Fed up Single Women (offsite blog) 

 

 

 

Regarding Point #1: "Tie-the-Knot-Trait 1: She's Exciting and Always Evolving"

 

Quote: "You know how every season finale of your favorite TV show ends with a million unanswered questions and you can't freaking wait for the next one? Well, a girl can give her guy that same thrilling mix of exhilaration and anticipation by surprising him...

"She does this by being spontaneous and a little unpredictable, taking on new interests all the time, and revealing different facets of herself," explains Alon Gratch, Ph.D., author of If Love Could Think. By never letting life get static, this woman busts the myth that being married means feeling humdrum. "She makes being with her an adventure, as if there's always a new idea or activity just around the bend," says Gratch."

My Response:

Good point...I realize that this is a quote from a book that the author of the article "Why Guys Marry some Girls" is referring to, and I have heard some of this before. I do agree and yet I feel I have done my part to prove that I am exciting enough. I have a variety of different activities I enjoy and I also would shudder to think of spending every waking minute with a man. I don't care how much I love him.

However...I like some of the other quotes as well, regarding that variety in a relationship is great. I usually am the one who has this problem with the men I date. So I must admit that I am a little shocked to realize men have this problem as well. However, I must admit that I think it can sometimes be very exhausting trying to come up with new ideas. I am not the only one in the relationship. Pa-lease, as I am a wonderful woman and I am tired of being taken for granted.

Regarding Point #2: "She Really, Really Loves Sex"

My Response:

I have mixed feelings about this point. I used to be a virgin because I wanted to wait until I was married. Either way, even though I have given in to this carnal pleasure I must admit I do really enjoy sex. I enjoy it best with someone I care a lot about. Someone I love. I cannot conceive of doing "weird positions" with someone I don't know that well-and believe me (sorry to admit) I did try that.

I am happy to be a sexual individual. However, I am worried that one person I loved very much has lost respect for me because of it. He made a comment saying that he "knows me too well" and that I am "more wild than he expected me to be."

I was not sure whether to take that as a compliment or as an insult. What did he think we were going to do after we were married anyway? One of the reasons I wanted to get married in the first place was so we could have sex, and I wanted it to be with a man I love, and someone I am good friends with.

As far as I know some men need to grow up, because they cannot have excitement all the time.  I want to have a relationship of not boredom but of quiet contentment. Personally, I am tired of drama. However, it doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun-in and out of the sheets.

I thought that liking sex more would help me, but I find it to be somewhat to my detriment. In fact, I think the fact that I do enjoy sex scares men. Some of them are the one with the problem, not me. (That's what they get for accusing me of the possibility of not being able to enjoy sex because of my "past.")

Tie-the-Knot-Trait 3: "She Makes It Clear He's Not Her Entire Life"

My Response

Good Point...I think I have more than proved this point. I have plenty of interests and hobbies apart from any primary partner I have ever had. I am actually very good at asserting my independence. I have not found someone yet who respects that.

However... I have pushed people away in the past and I am tired of the games men play. It seems that a lot of them are addicted to the chase. Then, when they get the woman they take her for granted. They make her feel bad just because she wants company, companionship, a relationship that is based on love and not just sex. I have yet to meet a man who wants me when he has me.

Tie-the-Knot-Trait 4: ...Yet She Still Conveys How Very Important He Is to Her

My Response

I have gotten a lot better at this the past few years, as I pushed away one man that I now believe really loved me. I now try to make sure I find a balance between showing that person what that person means to me and not being too needy.

I this this point is very very important:  

Quote:"Okay, so men dig independent chicks. But there's a fine line between being independent and acting aloof and detached. Guys settle down with a woman who regularly reveals her tender side and shows him that no matter what happens, she's got his back.

"Men view life as a struggle or war that they're fighting, and they want someone who'll be on their side at all times, through thick and thin," says Gratch. "This doesn't mean that a woman should mother him or assist him with every little detail of his life; it's more about consistently doing small, nurturing things that let him know you really care."

My Response I agree with those two paragraphs the most. I learned this lesson the hard way in the past few years, not realizing that the things I thought were important to me when I was younger would no longer matter now that I am older.

Tie-the-Knot-Trait 5: She Wants Him to Be the Best Man He Can Be

My Response

I like to encourage the man I am with to be the best that he can be. However, if he even expresses the slightest inclination that he thinks I am incapable of relationship, taking care of family, or having success in a career, I take revenge by shutting him out.

At that point I will tell him I have my own d*mn self to take care of and I have my own d*mn career to be concerned about. It is his loss if he wants to reject me. I realize, however, that I have to learn to be less critical and less pushy at times (or most the time.)

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Dump that Jerk: A Matter-of-Fact Blog for Fed up Single Women (offsite blog) 

 

 

 

MSN Travel's "World's Worst Worst Tourist Traps"  Slide Show Review

Continued from <<This Page

I do agree that there are some very over-rated-or at least over-reported spots in the world that people "should go and visit." I myself am not a typical tourist, as I like to observe from more a writer and artist point of view. Therefore, I also am reluctant sometimes to visit the most touristy places in the world.

However, I also do think there is value in visiting overly-busy locations. For starters, it's all in the way you approach locations such as The Leaning Tour of Pisa, Times Square, and Wall Drug, or Faneuil Hall.

How to Tour the 'Right' Way

Experiencing the culture busy traveler's destinations involves more than reading engraved inscriptions or watching cheesy historical videos. It also requires more than just having a stranger break your camera trying to be kind enough to take your photos for you at visitors' sites.

I prefer to investigate thoroughly when I visit popular tourist places such. When I leave a place I want to know that I know more about a certain locality than the average tourist.

To me, traveling is just more than about getting away. It's a learning experience.

I will confess that under extreme situations, such as when a tripped is planned for me and I have no control over how much time I spend in a location, I do not always research thoroughly.

However, when I plan my own vacations I try to do my best to see what not everyone else sees, even if it is a very common tourist location.

According to MSN Travel: Places Considered "Tacky" and Why

(And How it They Don't Need to Be, Exceptions Included)

~The Leaning Tower Of Pisa (Pisa, Italy)-My first thought was that MSN Travel is right about this. I also thought at first who cares? Then I realized I care.

I have never even been to this place. So, of course I am going to want to go. Therefore, it is not tacky to me-as long as I learn something from the visit because how expensive the tourist T-shirts are.

There are so many questions that can be asked about this location. For instance, who had first settled in the area where the Pisa stands? Was it the Romans? Greeks? Who was it?

Then I would of course want to know how the tower could lean for so long without collapsing. Furthermore, I would want to know when it was built and why it was built, and so on.

(Maybe some of the above-mentioned questions are answered in canned historical media productions, but perhaps they are not. Either way, I hope I am making my point.)

Even if visiting Pisa, Italy would seem to be tacky, I wouldn't mind traveling half a day to see this tower if I lived in Florence, Italy. Hey, I'm from America, so my travel time would be much longer, but I would want to see it because I never saw it before.

~Times Square (Manhattan, New York, New York)-I had actually lived on Staten Island for about 8 months during 1994 to 1995. Therefore, I have been to Times Square many times day and night. In fact, I first arrived from the Newark, NJ port authority in a taxi to the Times Square location.

My stay in New York was was about 14 years ago, but I still remember it like i was yesterday. It is even more engrained in my mind since the days of the September 11th disaster. (The site of the 9/11 is not too far from Times Square.)

Times Square is considered tacky to certain people for reasons including these (my own observation): The bright Vegas-style lights, over-run Broadway and off-Broadway shows (my own observation, would have liked to been able to afford to see some of them), and tacky restaurants.

I notice also that none of the people I lived with on Staten Island wanted to go to Times Square on New Year's Eve. That was most disappointing to me. I wanted to at least go because it is just one of those "things to do" at least once in your life. (In fact going to

New York for me was also one of those "things I just had to do." If people look closely enough they can see that Times Square is full of culture, art, and history. Also, they have more than just commercial-run poor excuses for ethnic foods.

I have actually been to a view very good Middle Eastern Restaurants as well as vegetarian places while in New York. I never would regret visiting this place.

I would have only regretted visiting it if I had approached visiting New York and Times Square like a typical tourist. As I feel I was not. I didn't even own a camera at the time, and well...I must admit I would have at least liked to have taken pictures of Times Square and the World Trade Center.

But does that mean I am just a typical tourist? Not by any means. If I would have been smart, I would have taken pictures and later used them for photos for travel articles to write.

A Little Off Topic: About the Statue of Liberty

Apart from Times Square: I will say that while I lived in Manhattan I was debating the issue of whether or not I should have decided to climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty.

I feel a little bit like an American trader that I didn't because I have a tendency to be somewhat patriotic. However, I was a little chicken and was told the line to do so is two and one-half hours long.

So I didn't climb the Liberty. However, It was magnificent enough to me to be able to pass it at least a couple of weekends a month.

I absolutely loved the ferry ride as dirty as the Hudson River is. I also felt a sense of duty to know a little bit more about the country I came from. To actually witness places I only saw in movies previously.

~South of the Border (Dillon, S.C.)-Having been 'south of the border (not the attraction), and I must admit I totally agree on the sentiment of MSN Travel for this one. I have actually been to Mexico and it's possible that Mexican locals would consider this South Carolina attraction an insult.

On the other hand, people who want to have fun and some great laughs and shop for awhile wouldn't mind visiting this attraction. In my opinion, it is a place not meant to be taken very seriously. It is just meant for fun. By the way, a water park is located in the area.

~Madame Tussaud’s-This is a was museum in London. In it stands life-sized wax statues of famous celebrities, political leaders, performing artists, and movie characters. I don't understand what would be cheesy about this. I would go to this, and if I had children I would want to take them (as long as all the models are "decent").

There are also Madam Tussaud's locations in Amsterdam, Berlin, Vegas, and New York. From an artist and writer's point of view, I can appreciate the intricate detail of the models. Did you ever see how accurate they are?

I think visiting a wax museum is a very useful way to learn about the history of specific regions. It also is a unique way to learn about the culture of locations. I have nothing bad to say about this opportunity, as new statues are added periodically.

~Wall Drug (South Dakota)-This attraction blossomed from the small drug store that it used to be. Now it is a complete western-theme amusement park.

I can see how this would be a tacky tourist trap, and I honestly have never heard of this place until now. I don't think I would consider it an "authentic" place really. However, it would be fun for families to visit. Kids love this kind of stuff so families need places like this.

~Blue Grotto (Capri, Italy)-Probably the only reason I would not want to visit this place is because it seems to be very busy. I prefer more remote waterside destinations.

However, I would appreciate the beauty of the Mediterranean from this point, and I would enjoy the motorboat trip to the Grotto. It is not recommended for those who do not like the outdoors.

~Experience Music Project (Seattle, Washington)-This attraction contains an extensive collection of guitars. On the grounds science-fiction memoriabeli is also displayed. I think it would be most beneficial for those who are musicians and for those who appreciate popular music history.

I agree that perhaps it would be a little cheesy (about a 4, with 1 being the least cheesy and 10 being the most cheesy.) However, for musicians who want to know what it would be like to be inside a music studio this may the place to visit.

Also, for those who are wannabe musicians or those who just come to have fun, the studio can be entertaining. I think it would be recommended for either semi-professional musicians, families with children, elementary or high school music teachers, or just plain goof-offs.

~Fisherman's Wharf-This area is often inundated by tourists. Therefore, I can see MSN Travel's point. It is overrated. Moreover, the San Francisco Bay waterfront can be quite a beautiful place to visit. The biggest challenge would be to find a bare spot on the beach to pitch your beach towel or umbrella and chairs.

~Gateway Arch (a.k.a. "St. Louis Arch", Missouri)-I agree that this massive structure is impressive from the bottom up. It can be quite a rush to stand right next to one side of it and look up. I felt like such a small person in contrast to this monument.

I did not climb the top either time, but I probably would if I have enough money next time I am in the area. I took plenty of close-ups and far-away pictures of this semi-unique architectural structure.

However, I regret to say I no longer have them as it was before I owned a digital camera and was lazy about picture processing. The area inside the Arch provides visitors with extensive learning opportunities.

One of which is the enclosed Museum of Westward Expansion. Riverfront tours are available in this area as well.

~Faneuil Hall (Boston, Massachusetts)-This is an area lined with quite a few shops and restaurants.  However, I do not think this should stop visitors from viewing it.

The Faneuil Hall is a very important part of U.S. History. From an artistic point of view, I can say that the architectural style of this particular structure is very solid and sturdy.

Furthermore, it is rich with texture, trimmings, and decor characteristic of English markets. Several high-quality merchants are displayed in this famous marketplace.

Furthermore, several find places to dine are located in the vicinity. The trick is to know where to go and how to appreciate local Boston history. (In fact, I had

elected to walk the entire perimeter in Boston while I was on vacation there quite some time ago. So I know I can.)

An assembly hall is also located in Faneuil Hall  place where several historical political leaders such as Samuel Adams, John Otis, and others advocated American independence.

There is something about interesting historical places that cannot be avoided-typical tourist activity. When you look past this you can learn quite a bit about Boston while examining the Faneuil Hall and surrounding areas.

The Hall is a part of Boston's historical Freedom Trail. This is a route which contains Boston's primarily assembly gathering places as well as attractions based upon  Revolutionary War events and battles.

~Bourbon Street (New Orleans, Louisiana)-If you can look past the stumbling drunks and rows of strip clubs this may be an alright place to visit. Parents would need to take special care if they  have small children traveling with them.

On the other hand, persons who travel to this location can learn about why this street is called what it is. They can also appreciate the unique ethnic flavor of the area as many historical buildings are still standing here.

An upscale dining establishment called Galatoires is located on Bourbon Street. People often wait for hours to secure a table here.

Furthermore, visitors can witness various works of architecture still standing on this world-famous street. Among the most important is the large Bourbon Esplanade Marigny Allison (a downtown building). Others include the Bourbon Esplanade Weed Castle (local home), and Canal Street buildings.

I am surprised that the Eiffel Tower, Daytona Beach, or Disney World was not on the list of worst tourist destinations. However, I can see that MSN Travel has solicited responses from readers who have named various places, and it is most likely these are somewhere on the list.

If not, they will be soon because I am going to comment on them. Someone has to do it.

Written by: Julie from J.A.B.'s Freelance World

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Written By: Julie, J.A.B.'s Freelance World.com

The Fact that Misery Loves Company is True

One of the easiest things to do when you are lonely is to make it worse by also being miserable. Being miserable usually happens when you as a lonely person hang around someone who is very negative all the time. Usually the miserable person you are hanging around is your new boyfriend or your new girlfriend.

Signs of Negativity

The person you are hanging around expresses negativity in a variety of ways on a regular basis. For one, they may always be talking about the bad things their ex did to them, or how that person hurt them (the person you are now dating). Or, they may always be talking about how people cannot be trusted and why they are so skeptical about love.

What do Do about a Negative Person

Sometimes you might need to take a break from that person. You also may need to confront that person and say "hey I realize you are hurting and that you have issues and I want to try to understand you. However, sometimes I need to feel positive and just to enjoy life and have fun. You need to learn how to have fun."

After you have confronted the person, you may consider taking a few days, a week, or longer to allow the miserable person time and space. You will be amazed at the transformations that are made during this time.

What Happens when you Give a Miserable Person Space

Usually if a person who is miserable realizes he or she is affecting you that person will begin to become more positive at least temporarily. (You cannot expect them to be wonderful people all the time because people go through trials and tribulations all the time.)

The person who is down all the time will begin to realize that they are not the only persons on this earth. They will even thank you once they no longer feel rejected because you don't seem to love them for wanting to not be around them like that.

It may Not Always Work, But it's Worth a Try

Giving 'misery' space is not always going to work. Some people just never learn no matter how you try to deal with the situation. However, in most cases a miserable person will be able to adjust and expand his or her social horizons so they are not always dependent upon you.