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A Blog in the Life of SinglesAddressing Single's Issues of Today March 25 Talking about Steve Harvey's Dating Advice for WomenI agree with this article, especially about the part referring to women no longer setting their bars high. That is exactly what happened to me lately as I got lonelier and lonelier. And women need to be careful because otherwise they could wind up with nothing but emotional scars and the possibility of getting an STD. That is true even if the woman does where a condom. Quote Talking about Steve Harvey's Dating Advice for Women December 23 Suck it Up or Move onI won't elaborate on what I could possibly mean by "suck it up" or move on. I just realized awhile ago how hard it is to end a relationship that I may have the illusion is actually going somewhere. I really had no intention of hurting anyone.
I really did not. In fact, I tried to end it on more than one occasion with one person in particular but somehow that person always tried to get me to just accept things the way they were. "Suck it up" or move on I have decided is the message, and that can be virtually taken literally.
To make a really long, boring, angst-ridden story short...I moved on (I hope)...
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November 26 Just wanted to say "Happy Thanksgiving" to my Readers!I just wanted to say "hi" to my readers, if I still have any. I do very much apologize that I have not kept up with this blog in awhile. I have quite a few of them. I hope some day I can make a living managing my own blogs. Then you would have the fortunate (or unfortunate) opportunity to hear what I have to say every single day. October 17 Advantages and Disadvantages of "Real Sugar Daddy" Dating
Usually "sugar daddy dating" applies to older men dating younger women. This may be for reasons of sex (or money for the "sugar babes" they spend time with). However, it often is just because they feel good hanging around younger women, and the women don't seem to mind. "Real Sugar Daddy" applies to an online dating service that caters to this type of dating. Advantages of "Real Sugar Daddy" Dating The advantages of this type of dating applies to both why do to it online and why "sugar daddy dating" in general. "Real Sugar Daddy" dating often takes place for one of the following reasons:
Disadvantages of "Real Sugar Daddy" Dating The main disadvantage is the looks and stares you may get from other people. They may be jealous that you have it all or they may think people who date outside their normal age range are just using each other. Quite a bit of stigma surrounds the concept of Real Sugar Daddy Dating. However, if you truly desire the best in life and this is the way that you think you can find it, who cares what others think? What matters the most is that you are happy. When it comes down to it, no matter where you meet your next date you cannot choose who you like. Even more importantly for some is the fact that you cannot choose who you fall in love with. Real Sugar Daddy dating is a suitable whether you are just looking for a part-time companion, or whether you are searching for someone to share your whole life with. It does not guarantee you happiness, but for some it is a step in the right direction. ___ This article is written by:
June 27 Single's Need Help Too-Without Getting "Knocked Up"Note: Apart from getting "Knocked Up" (at least in most cases) this article can apply to a man as well. I believe in a hand up to be able to make a better life for myself. I also believe that there is no substitute for hard work when it comes to achieving financial stability. However, I have often felt as though every time I try to get help I just fall through the cracks. Yes, I can receive financial aid to go to back to college and so on and so forth, and probably will do so soon. Not Getting "Knocked Up" Should be Rewarded However, I often have felt overlooked being a single woman with no kids. Worse yet, I have often felt penalized by the federal and state governments for being responsible and not having a child. It seems far easier for women who have children to receive help than it is for a low-income single woman who does not have a child. I do not think that is right at all. Although I am conflicted about the government being too involved in my business, I think that I should be able to receive some type of medical assistance even if I am not considered disabled. I think that women-and men also-who are hard workers should at least be able to receive some type of medical assistance. At the very least they should be able to go to the doctor and receive check-ups and not have to wait until they have a medical emergency. Prevention is Better and Less Expensive Regarding receiving some type of medical assistance for regular checkups, I think it would save the government plenty of dollars in the long run. The government would be less likely to have to fork out money in the event someone becomes incapacitated as a result of a medical emergency. I think more singles should be concerned about this. I don't think the government should do everything for us, but I do think that they we should receive a hand up such as medical insurance, say if we work consistently 30 hours a week for a given amount of time. What to Do when He or She Tries to make You JealousMen and women both do it all the time. They want to see if their partners care about them, so what do they do? Take one wild guess.If you guessed that they try to make each other jealous you have guessed right. I have had it happen to me all the time, and I am ashamed to confess that I-well at least subconsciously-have made others jealous. Why the "Make the other Jealous" Tactic? Truthfully it is a major sign of immaturity. The person cannot just simply come out and ask...'do you care about me' instead of playing their passive aggressive games. What Exactly is the "Make the other Jealous" Tactic? It is when the person tells you he or she spent time with someone of the opposite sex, and they try to go on and on about what they did with that person. It may be as innocent as just going to the store or as extravagant as going on a date with another and spending the night with someone else. Making another person jealous often does not involve extramarital or extra-relationship sex. Rather, it is the intend to make it look to the partner like he or she did or will do so soon. Exploring the "Make Each Other Jealous" Tactic on a Deeper Level Often times people do that immature B.S. out of pure frustration. However, sometimes they do it because they are afraid. They are afraid of being laughed at, ridiculed, criticized, or insulted by their partners. It's not that when a partner makes the other jealous they are making life any easier for them selves. However, the reason why they are often afraid is because they do not want to fear their thoughts and feelings will be disregarded again. Therefore, they often are at wits end and they will do whatever they can to get the other person's attention. For Those on the Receiving End of the "Make You Jealous" Act If you are a victim of the "Make You Jealous" tactic don't show any emotion. That may seem cold-hearted. However, if your partner or spouse calls and says 'I spent all night at (insert name) house' just say "Okay". And then act as if nothing happened. You are not responsible for reading that person's mind or having to fish for reasons why that person is mad at you all the time. So, just say your polite or even mushy goodbyes and then... Just wait for that person to call you. If a few days go by he or she may be wondering why you have not called and then they will ask you. This is a good time to tell them that they can just ask you if you care about that person. If The Victim of the "Make You Jealous" Tactic Needs to Change Too... Your immature partner may have his or her set of problems. However, remember so do you. Perhaps you need to practicing better listening skills or you need to try to make more of an effort to truly get to know your partner. More importantly, when another individual brings up an important concern in a relationship it is not always because they want to "pick a fight". They may genuinely have an issue with you. And that issue needs to be resolved before the relationship can grow. If it is too huge to solve right away at least your partner needs to see that you at least are willing to discuss the issue, whatever it may be. If Things are so Bad... Well...there comes a point in every frustrating relationship where you have to decide whether or not you can handle it or not. If not then you either have to find a way to deal with it or move on. ____ Technorati Tags: jealousy,jealousy issues,jealousy tactics,passive aggressive tactics,make you jealous tactic,make you jealous tactics,making your partner jealous,immaturity in relationships Dump that Jerk A Matter-of-Fact Blog for Fed-Up Single Women J.A.B.'s Freelance World-A Whole New World of Writing What to Do When AARGH! I Forgot what I was Going to Say!I was going to write one of my typical male-bashing entries (hopefully that is not what they really are) and ....well apparently I had spend too much time answering my e-mails. Because afterwards I forgot what I was going to say. Aaargh! @#$%! So, if I remember I will have to add it tomorrow (or later to day would be more like it as it is now 4:11 am here.) Oh well, at least for now I can refer you to some of my other blog entries that are more humorous for now. I am adding these because I think single people need to laugh once in awhile. Other Places I Put Blog Entries (See Below) Spam Humor On my "Gotta Have Humor" blog I have entries making fun of spammers. That is always fun isn't it? I have real live entries on here of portions of spam mail (names changed to protect the idiots of course-why I should I don't know!) Making Fun of Home Internet Businesses If you want to have a good laugh I was in a very sarcastic mood one day while working. And I work at home so I cannot take offense to this (as I wrote this after all), and neither should others that work at home. Venting Journal about Women in Relationships I also have a blog called "Dump that Jerk" which is very sarcastic, and sometimes funny and sometimes serious. It depends upon the day. I do have a humor category which I promise I will put more entries in soon. Soooorrry for now. Anyway...that's it for this entry. If you are away from your job I hope you are having a very nice vacation. ____ Enough of me Being Self-Absorbed Anyway...that's enough of me being self-absorbed for now. I should really get some sleep. I try to keep up with my blogs as much as possible. I at least a few entries a day to my entire conglomeration of "two Internet cents" worth. By the way, I had to look up the word "conglomeration" to see how it is spelled and I actually like the definition of it: "An accumulation of miscellaneous things". That would describe this blog entry. I sure hope Google doesn't penalize me for this one. ____ *News: J.A.B.'s Freelance World will soon be taking up video editing and graphics design. Our company will also soon be offering web, e-mail, and personal craft art of all kinds. A large part of it will be stationary and photos to be used for any purpose. I gotta get the site done though. ___ Addendum (another big word I don't know the meaning-or how to spell-really) to this Blog Entry Right now I am thinking about my up and down experience as a freelance writer and wondering if anyone would be suspicious if I wrote an article called "Five Ways to Kill an Annoying Client". And that it is getting late and I forgot again what I was going to say. Oh...Now I Remember... *My addendum to this long senseless blog entry is this: I am very frustrated right now that my font on this blog entry cannot just be changed with the editor. Once again I have to use my brain and be forced to use HTML code. AARGH! June 25 Commentary on "Want to Look Younger? Dress Your Age!I have something to say about the MSN lifestyle article posted today entitled "Want to Look Younger? Dress Your Age" article posted on MSN Lifestyle. I agree but I disagree.
Sure, there are some things you should not do. However, I think if you look good at any age you should be able to be proud of it. Now here is my personal opinion on some of the points in the "Want to Look Younger. . ." article:
June 20 How Many Times Have I Heard "I Wanna Be Married"I had a dollar for every time I heard a man say "I Wanna Get Married" I would be rich. I would venture to guess that women are the same way. I don't understand it myself. I have said it to I must shamefully admit.
Perhaps I am fooling myself into thinking I really wanted to be married as well. However, I have a bad habit of pointing fingers at men and sometimes for good reason.
There are ways to tell if you yourself as a woman (if you are) if you really want to be married. There are also ways to tell if the man you are with wants to be married as well.
If he is willing to work out conflict with you and at least most of the time you get along then I would say you would have a pretty good go of it at marriage. Those good memories you develop will help you make it through the hard times when you have them.
However, if you or you partner seem to find every excuse in the book not to want to work it out you should question your motive for being married in the first place. "So you Say Ya Want to Get Married" can explain more regarding this phenomenon. It is an article written primarily for women but similar principles apply to men as well.
I know I drive a hard bargain while I date men. However, I didn't wait this long to get married just to settle myself. So if you were to ask me if I want to get married. My answer is only if I meet the right person. Until then I am living live to the fullest.
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June 17 My Take on "Why Some Guys Marry Girls (And not Others)"My first reaction to the Why Guys Marry Some Girls (but Not Others) article posted on MSN Lifestyle was that of extreme defensiveness. I feel that I have bent over backwards to try to prove that I am just as exciting (in a good way) as the "bad girl" down the street.
However, I realize after further consideration that this article is not just about "good girl" versus "bad girl". Therefore, in response I have picked apart the points I agree with as well as the points I disagree with regarding this article. Hopefully this will provide a balanced insight from a woman's point of view.
My Personal Analysis of "Why Guys Marry Some Girls..."
June 16 Comment on Whether Divorced People can be Single and HappyI just had recently read the Ask Lynn: Advice on Love Entry yesterday on MSN Dating & Personals regarding whether it is possible to be single and happy after a divorce. I have never been married, but have been in a few long term relationships so I can identify with some of this.
I Don't want to "Need" a Man (Off-Site Entry)
I have been actually working hard for quite awhile so that if I ever was married I would not "need" a man that desperately. I realize that scares men. However, women need to know that they feel secure in themselves if they are going to be happy in a relationship.
Gone are the days when abuse remains behind closed doors-well sort of. All I know is that I know I owe it to my future children to provide them with a happy and safe home. And I don't want to get married to the wrong person, for many of the same reasons divorced people do not.
Nobody wants to get their heart broken, and divorced people or people who have been in one or more long-term relationships that do not work out are fed up. They realize that they can be perfectly content being alone and that causes less headache.
I Agree: No Incentive Needed to be with a Man
Right now I am in the throes of my career, despite the fact that my biological clock is ticking away. Perhaps I watch too many romantic movies-or perhaps not enough. However, all I know is that I don't want my relationship with a man based on some "incentive" to be with him.
Men usually feel better about taking care of a woman...but I as a woman feel the best receiving that care when I know I can take care of myself. I do not want my personal relationship to be based upon need of any kind. It is then and only then that I can truly appreciate what a man has to offer to me.
I believe a relationship should be based on two people wanting to be together first. On love. Then, secondary it should be based upon the partnership.
I recently was challenged by this predicament. I realize for me I want love first and then partnership second. If it is just a partnership I want all I need to do is answer to or place a roommate ad.
See: Love and Money Is it possible to have Both? (Off-Site Entry)
It is Possible to be Content Alone
Contrary to popular myth and to romantic movies which I love to watch it is actually possible to be content being alone. If I am not in a relationship I often think of all the things I can do since that other person is not there. In fact, I must admit I like the single life a little too much in some ways-so much that I have delayed marriage.
I never realized when I was younger the pressure I would feel as a single when I am older. Automatically being single means that something is wrong with you. If that were true why are their so many unhappy marriages? Contentment is really the key-being content to be alone or content to be with someone.
My Conclusion: It is possible to be Divorced/Single and Be Happy
I believe it is possible to be single and/or divorced and single and to be happy. That does not mean people who do not want to be alone should not be looked down upon either. Everyone should be able to understand that whether single or married contentment is the key.
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This is a therapeutic, sarcastic blog for single women who have been in relationships, married, or however, and are now single. It is a mixed bag of entries that will both make you laugh and cry. Consider it a creative healing moment.
April 27 Response to "World's Worst Tourist Traps"
MSN Travel's "World's Worst Worst Tourist Traps" Slide Show Review Continued from <<This Page I do agree that there are some very over-rated-or at least over-reported spots in the world that people "should go and visit." I myself am not a typical tourist, as I like to observe from more a writer and artist point of view. Therefore, I also am reluctant sometimes to visit the most touristy places in the world.However, I also do think there is value in visiting overly-busy locations. For starters, it's all in the way you approach locations such as The Leaning Tour of Pisa, Times Square, and Wall Drug, or Faneuil Hall. How to Tour the 'Right' Way Experiencing the culture busy traveler's destinations involves more than reading engraved inscriptions or watching cheesy historical videos. It also requires more than just having a stranger break your camera trying to be kind enough to take your photos for you at visitors' sites. I prefer to investigate thoroughly when I visit popular tourist places such. When I leave a place I want to know that I know more about a certain locality than the average tourist. To me, traveling is just more than about getting away. It's a learning experience. I will confess that under extreme situations, such as when a tripped is planned for me and I have no control over how much time I spend in a location, I do not always research thoroughly. However, when I plan my own vacations I try to do my best to see what not everyone else sees, even if it is a very common tourist location. According to MSN Travel: Places Considered "Tacky" and Why (And How it They Don't Need to Be, Exceptions Included) ~The Leaning Tower Of Pisa (Pisa, Italy)-My first thought was that MSN Travel is right about this. I also thought at first who cares? Then I realized I care. I have never even been to this place. So, of course I am going to want to go. Therefore, it is not tacky to me-as long as I learn something from the visit because how expensive the tourist T-shirts are. There are so many questions that can be asked about this location. For instance, who had first settled in the area where the Pisa stands? Was it the Romans? Greeks? Who was it? Then I would of course want to know how the tower could lean for so long without collapsing. Furthermore, I would want to know when it was built and why it was built, and so on. (Maybe some of the above-mentioned questions are answered in canned historical media productions, but perhaps they are not. Either way, I hope I am making my point.) Even if visiting Pisa, Italy would seem to be tacky, I wouldn't mind traveling half a day to see this tower if I lived in Florence, Italy. Hey, I'm from America, so my travel time would be much longer, but I would want to see it because I never saw it before. ~Times Square (Manhattan, New York, New York)-I had actually lived on Staten Island for about 8 months during 1994 to 1995. Therefore, I have been to Times Square many times day and night. In fact, I first arrived from the Newark, NJ port authority in a taxi to the Times Square location. My stay in New York was was about 14 years ago, but I still remember it like i was yesterday. It is even more engrained in my mind since the days of the September 11th disaster. (The site of the 9/11 is not too far from Times Square.) Times Square is considered tacky to certain people for reasons including these (my own observation): The bright Vegas-style lights, over-run Broadway and off-Broadway shows (my own observation, would have liked to been able to afford to see some of them), and tacky restaurants. I notice also that none of the people I lived with on Staten Island wanted to go to Times Square on New Year's Eve. That was most disappointing to me. I wanted to at least go because it is just one of those "things to do" at least once in your life. (In fact going to New York for me was also one of those "things I just had to do." If people look closely enough they can see that Times Square is full of culture, art, and history. Also, they have more than just commercial-run poor excuses for ethnic foods. I have actually been to a view very good Middle Eastern Restaurants as well as vegetarian places while in New York. I never would regret visiting this place. I would have only regretted visiting it if I had approached visiting New York and Times Square like a typical tourist. As I feel I was not. I didn't even own a camera at the time, and well...I must admit I would have at least liked to have taken pictures of Times Square and the World Trade Center. But does that mean I am just a typical tourist? Not by any means. If I would have been smart, I would have taken pictures and later used them for photos for travel articles to write. A Little Off Topic: About the Statue of Liberty Apart from Times Square: I will say that while I lived in Manhattan I was debating the issue of whether or not I should have decided to climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty. I feel a little bit like an American trader that I didn't because I have a tendency to be somewhat patriotic. However, I was a little chicken and was told the line to do so is two and one-half hours long. So I didn't climb the Liberty. However, It was magnificent enough to me to be able to pass it at least a couple of weekends a month. I absolutely loved the ferry ride as dirty as the Hudson River is. I also felt a sense of duty to know a little bit more about the country I came from. To actually witness places I only saw in movies previously. ~South of the Border (Dillon, S.C.)-Having been 'south of the border (not the attraction), and I must admit I totally agree on the sentiment of MSN Travel for this one. I have actually been to Mexico and it's possible that Mexican locals would consider this South Carolina attraction an insult. On the other hand, people who want to have fun and some great laughs and shop for awhile wouldn't mind visiting this attraction. In my opinion, it is a place not meant to be taken very seriously. It is just meant for fun. By the way, a water park is located in the area. ~Madame Tussaud’s-This is a was museum in London. In it stands life-sized wax statues of famous celebrities, political leaders, performing artists, and movie characters. I don't understand what would be cheesy about this. I would go to this, and if I had children I would want to take them (as long as all the models are "decent"). There are also Madam Tussaud's locations in Amsterdam, Berlin, Vegas, and New York. From an artist and writer's point of view, I can appreciate the intricate detail of the models. Did you ever see how accurate they are? I think visiting a wax museum is a very useful way to learn about the history of specific regions. It also is a unique way to learn about the culture of locations. I have nothing bad to say about this opportunity, as new statues are added periodically. ~Wall Drug (South Dakota)-This attraction blossomed from the small drug store that it used to be. Now it is a complete western-theme amusement park. I can see how this would be a tacky tourist trap, and I honestly have never heard of this place until now. I don't think I would consider it an "authentic" place really. However, it would be fun for families to visit. Kids love this kind of stuff so families need places like this. ~Blue Grotto (Capri, Italy)-Probably the only reason I would not want to visit this place is because it seems to be very busy. I prefer more remote waterside destinations. However, I would appreciate the beauty of the Mediterranean from this point, and I would enjoy the motorboat trip to the Grotto. It is not recommended for those who do not like the outdoors. ~Experience Music Project (Seattle, Washington)-This attraction contains an extensive collection of guitars. On the grounds science-fiction memoriabeli is also displayed. I think it would be most beneficial for those who are musicians and for those who appreciate popular music history. I agree that perhaps it would be a little cheesy (about a 4, with 1 being the least cheesy and 10 being the most cheesy.) However, for musicians who want to know what it would be like to be inside a music studio this may the place to visit. Also, for those who are wannabe musicians or those who just come to have fun, the studio can be entertaining. I think it would be recommended for either semi-professional musicians, families with children, elementary or high school music teachers, or just plain goof-offs. ~Fisherman's Wharf-This area is often inundated by tourists. Therefore, I can see MSN Travel's point. It is overrated. Moreover, the San Francisco Bay waterfront can be quite a beautiful place to visit. The biggest challenge would be to find a bare spot on the beach to pitch your beach towel or umbrella and chairs. ~Gateway Arch (a.k.a. "St. Louis Arch", Missouri)-I agree that this massive structure is impressive from the bottom up. It can be quite a rush to stand right next to one side of it and look up. I felt like such a small person in contrast to this monument. I did not climb the top either time, but I probably would if I have enough money next time I am in the area. I took plenty of close-ups and far-away pictures of this semi-unique architectural structure. However, I regret to say I no longer have them as it was before I owned a digital camera and was lazy about picture processing. The area inside the Arch provides visitors with extensive learning opportunities. One of which is the enclosed Museum of Westward Expansion. Riverfront tours are available in this area as well. ~Faneuil Hall (Boston, Massachusetts)-This is an area lined with quite a few shops and restaurants. However, I do not think this should stop visitors from viewing it. The Faneuil Hall is a very important part of U.S. History. From an artistic point of view, I can say that the architectural style of this particular structure is very solid and sturdy. Furthermore, it is rich with texture, trimmings, and decor characteristic of English markets. Several high-quality merchants are displayed in this famous marketplace. Furthermore, several find places to dine are located in the vicinity. The trick is to know where to go and how to appreciate local Boston history. (In fact, I had elected to walk the entire perimeter in Boston while I was on vacation there quite some time ago. So I know I can.) An assembly hall is also located in Faneuil Hall place where several historical political leaders such as Samuel Adams, John Otis, and others advocated American independence. There is something about interesting historical places that cannot be avoided-typical tourist activity. When you look past this you can learn quite a bit about Boston while examining the Faneuil Hall and surrounding areas. The Hall is a part of Boston's historical Freedom Trail. This is a route which contains Boston's primarily assembly gathering places as well as attractions based upon Revolutionary War events and battles. ~Bourbon Street (New Orleans, Louisiana)-If you can look past the stumbling drunks and rows of strip clubs this may be an alright place to visit. Parents would need to take special care if they have small children traveling with them. On the other hand, persons who travel to this location can learn about why this street is called what it is. They can also appreciate the unique ethnic flavor of the area as many historical buildings are still standing here. An upscale dining establishment called Galatoires is located on Bourbon Street. People often wait for hours to secure a table here. Furthermore, visitors can witness various works of architecture still standing on this world-famous street. Among the most important is the large Bourbon Esplanade Marigny Allison (a downtown building). Others include the Bourbon Esplanade Weed Castle (local home), and Canal Street buildings. I am surprised that the Eiffel Tower, Daytona Beach, or Disney World was not on the list of worst tourist destinations. However, I can see that MSN Travel has solicited responses from readers who have named various places, and it is most likely these are somewhere on the list. If not, they will be soon because I am going to comment on them. Someone has to do it. Written by: Julie from J.A.B.'s Freelance World Response to "World's Worst Tourist Traps" Article on MSNThis blog is dedicated to singles. However, single people travel as well as families and couples do. Therefore, the following response to an MSN Travel article recently printed will pertain to them:
Review of "World's Worst Tourist Traps"
I just saw a title of an article displayed on the MSN home page today linking to an article about tourist trap destinations. It caught my eye and made me chuckle, so I decided to visit the link to the page where "The World's Worst Tourist Traps" is displayed.
I do agree that there are some very over-rated (or at least over-reported) spots in the world that people are supposed want to visit. I am one of those people who is sometimes reluctant to travel to the most touristy places in the world, and I myself am not a typical tourist. I like to observe locations from a writer or artist point of view.
However, I also do think there is value in visiting overly-busy locations. For starters, it's all in the way you approach locations such as The Leaning Tour of Pisa, Times Square, and Wall Drug, or Faneuil Hall.
Written By: Julie, J.A.B.'s Freelance World.com March 22 Don't Cope with Loneliness by Accompanying 'Misery'The Fact that Misery Loves Company is True One of the easiest things to do when you are lonely is to make it worse by also being miserable. Being miserable usually happens when you as a lonely person hang around someone who is very negative all the time. Usually the miserable person you are hanging around is your new boyfriend or your new girlfriend. Signs of Negativity The person you are hanging around expresses negativity in a variety of ways on a regular basis. For one, they may always be talking about the bad things their ex did to them, or how that person hurt them (the person you are now dating). Or, they may always be talking about how people cannot be trusted and why they are so skeptical about love. What do Do about a Negative Person Sometimes you might need to take a break from that person. You also may need to confront that person and say "hey I realize you are hurting and that you have issues and I want to try to understand you. However, sometimes I need to feel positive and just to enjoy life and have fun. You need to learn how to have fun." After you have confronted the person, you may consider taking a few days, a week, or longer to allow the miserable person time and space. You will be amazed at the transformations that are made during this time. What Happens when you Give a Miserable Person Space Usually if a person who is miserable realizes he or she is affecting you that person will begin to become more positive at least temporarily. (You cannot expect them to be wonderful people all the time because people go through trials and tribulations all the time.) The person who is down all the time will begin to realize that they are not the only persons on this earth. They will even thank you once they no longer feel rejected because you don't seem to love them for wanting to not be around them like that. It may Not Always Work, But it's Worth a Try Giving 'misery' space is not always going to work. Some people just never learn no matter how you try to deal with the situation. However, in most cases a miserable person will be able to adjust and expand his or her social horizons so they are not always dependent upon you. January 14 For Both Men and Women: Signs you are in an Abusive RelationshipWhen You Should Get out: Signs you are with an Abusive PartnerAll the reasons for women and all the reasons for men as stated in the first two articles "For Men 10 Signs you are in a Mediocre Relationship", For "Women: 10 Signs you Are in a Mediocre Relationship" actually apply to both men and women. You want a relationship that is meaningful and that you enjoy being in. You don’t want a relationship with someone if you dread the upcoming holiday with that person, not knowing if you are even going to enjoy being with that person. You also don’t want to be with that person if you are just plain old not getting along. It is hard to know exactly when to give up on a relationship. There can be great times and difficult times in most relationships. The true test of a relationship I believe is when you can make it through the holiday times and then you still want to be together. If you do not…then you know that maybe it is just not the right relationship for you. These are some of the signs that you are in a bad relationship:
If you are in a relationships you may also feel controlled by the other person, as though you cannot make your own decisions or think for yourself. You may also feel that you have no right to any privacy at all, or that you are being abused in some way verbally, emotionally, sexually, or physically. Sometimes people say things that they do not mean from time to time. However, if it occurs too often you or that person may need to make a change. Sometimes it may be you that is getting angry, and you may not necessarily hit the other person. However, you say things you don’t mean because you may not really want to be in the relationship. You may say those things in order to try to push that person away. If that is you, just walk away from that relationship peacefully. Otherwise, they you could hurt the other person more. This is true if that other person is hurting you as well. There is no reason that an undesirable relationship needs to continue. See Also: January 13 The Joys of Eating at a Restaurant Alone (As a Single Person)How to Enjoy Being Stuck Eating Along at a RestaurantI bet you might not even have thought of the good about being stuck eating alone. This list is just a few of those reasons:
Single Vs. Marriage as a Choice-Contentment as the Key Single Vs. Marriage as a Choice-Contentment as the Key Those that want to remain single are just as fine as singles, as married people are just as find as being married. Either way it is important for a person to be content. If a person is not content, they need to either work hard to change in themselves what will make it possible for them to be content-whether single or married. Questions to Ask Oneself Before Marriage Those who are contemplating marriage should ask themselves as many questions as possible, such as the following: Is it love? Do they see eye to eye? Do they have a stable healthy relationship based on trust? I firmly believe that if the answer is "no" to anyone of the above-displayed questions, then two people should not get married. They would be better off not committing to a situation that does not seem promising, and continue meeting new people and continue believing that the right person (or a right person) is out there. If Two People Love Each Other If two people are married because they want to be together and because they love each other I think they are justified in choosing to be married. If two people choose not to be married then that is okay too, in my opinion. If you are Contemplating Marriage In fact, it is wise for two people contemplating marriage to ask them selves questions regarding marriage itself and the person they plan to marry. I personally believe there would be quite a few more twenty-, thirty-and forty-something non-divorced singles out there if people would think more about the choice they are to make. That does not mean it is too late for those who have been divorced to find true love. This is just a matter of saying...speaking from a thirty-something single who is both proud to be single, and a little afraid of love...lol... An Additional Note about Single-hood and Marriage The one thing to remember though is not to let all these desires be all consuming and for a person who is single to be content being single and for those who are married to be content being married, and that neither group should put the other down. Instead, each group enjoy being single or enjoy being married. Furthermore, married and singles should whenever possible work on enjoying each other whenever possible, because they can learn from one another. I personally believe my life is much more fulfilled having both married and single friends. They both provide different types of support and also add to my life in different ways. See Also: January 10 The Best Part about Going out Alone: Your Freedom!
How to Enjoy Your Single Freedom and Going Out AloneDid you ever go out with a significant other and feel a little "not your self"? In other words whether you admit it or not you probably always acted just a little bit different around that person than you did if you went out by yourself. If that is true then you may just learn a little more about you. The best part of going out alone is your total freedom. You can do what you want without feeling censored, squelched, and "chained". Of course, being single and going out alone does not mean you should live a reckless and carefree existence. You have your self-respect to preserve. You have to remember you will not always be without a partner. On the other hand, no harm is done if you think of the advantages of going out alone. Different aspects of freedom you can enjoy when going out alone include the following:
January 07 A S.I.N.G.L.E. Acrostic
This poem may seem like a total contradiction to my claim to not make a “religion” out of being single.
I cannot help but relish in the freedom that I have just a little bit. Why not? I am entitled, right? So anyway, here is a poem I just wrote on my view of being single, using the letters “S.I.N.G.L.E.” to create it.
Solo I soar above the clouds Indifferent to the demands of society. No one can tell me to stay this way, and Getting married is still and option. Love is also as close to me as my Ever-growing capacity to embrace it.
See Also Humor: Celebrate the Joy of Being Single-“Happy Single’s Day” Single People vs. Married PeopleSingle People vs. Married People-Who is Better Off?The ones who often appear by society to be sure of themselves and responsible are those people are those who go to work every day earn a paycheck, have a few kids own a nice house, and have a SPOUSE. Those who appear by society as being unsure of themselves and irresponsible are those that do not work a nine to five job, rent an apartment and are SINGLE. Which ones of these groups is really better off-married or single? That is the question, which is not very easy to answer, seeing how the "grass is always greener on the other side." Nevertheless, this blog is an attempt to examine this issue, from a single person's point of view. Who Really Is Better Off? Short Answer: No one is really better off. It is just a matter of personal preference. Long Answer: See below... It does not necessarily have to be about who is better off, but usually a matter of personal preference. Those who do not want to be alone are not wrong for wanting to be married, and meeting new people for them is not wrong. Likewise, those who do not want to be single are not wrong for wanting to stay single. The apostle Paul believed that it was better to be single (although some controversy regards this as well, because some people believe the apostle Paul was actually married). He felt as though those who are single can devote their time to the Lord and that they will not have as many fleshly troubles. However, he (St. Paul) makes it clear that it is okay to be married for those who want to be married. In fact, he also shuns those that say getting married is wrong-meaning that no one should deprive anyone the right to get married. Moreover, the right to want to be married should not be taken away from people as well. In other words, neither married people nor single people are the better of the two groups. There are a variety of reasons why people are single, and there are a variety of reasons why people are married as well. It is completely a matter of personal preference-to each his or her own, in my opinion.
January 06 I Will Not Spiritualize My Singleness
I remember reading a book once when I was younger. In this book it said not to "spiritualize" your singleness. I thought about that for a long time, and to say honestly I agree.
Believe me...with all the marriages that have failed and that are failing...I definitely agree with that aspect. In fact, a single person who has more going for them will appear more attractive. However, there is one thing that I have not done and will refuse to do since I was in my early 20s.
I will not "spiritualize" my single-ness. What that means is that I am no longer going to just say....
"Oh I am just sitting back and waiting for that right one." Even if that is the major reason why I am not married, I am not going to announce that to everyone.
I am not going to spread around how supposedly proud I am to be single because being single is such as gift. It is true it is a gift, but going around boasting unnecessarily about it would be like the Pharisees who announce how good they are because they fast and pray in public.
Instead, I am just going to continue to better myself with the hope in mind that I will have that person I desire. I truly enjoy being single but believe me it is not a religion, and not for spiritual reasons. See Also: Being Single Won’t Get you to Heaven Do you Think We Should Have a “Single’s Day” as a National Celebration (a.k.a. holiday)?
I don’t know if there is such a thing as “Single’s Day” but if not I want to spread the word to make it happen. It is not a religion or a spirituality thing per se although after about five blogs I could see how it would turn into that.
Maybe subconsciously I really don’t want to get married and instead I want to promote a societal shift towards single-ness. Not everyone will go for it so the earth would still be repopulated, but it could serve as a healthier form of population control that would not lead to aids.
Perhaps “Single’s Day” could be the next national holiday declared. Although I know I would prefer to call it a “celebration day” because “holiday” implies that it is a “holy day” which are days usually set aside for God.
But, on the other hand, God could definitely be praised on “Single’s Day” and help keep it a safe celebration. What do you think? Should we have a "Single's Day"?
I mean...after all we have Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Grandparent's Day. (And Secretary's Day and Clergy Appreciation Day and so on.)
See Also: Humor: Celebrate the Joy of Being Single-“Happy Single’s Day” A Person's Work as a Practical State of State of Single-mindedness
The Single Worker Has a Purpose
I have mentioned in another blog entry that that being single won’t get you to heaven. Rather, there is a practical way to enjoy being single, and a productive way to be single-minded.
One of the most obvious examples of practical single-mindedness is the hard-working executive woman. Often she yearns for a home and a family yet she also enjoys sitting in a conference room along with other tailored-dressed men and women.
The single man also can enjoy a practical state of single-mindedness as well. Sure, we all know he is a person driven to succeed, and that often money is not an obstacle to building a happy home. It may just be that he enjoys part-time romantic company by firelight knowing that he is not obligated to stay with her for the rest of his life.
Both single men and women can take the time to climb the social and corporate ladders at will when they are single. Although work is not everything, no one cannot help but feel elation at even the littlest milestone of corporate success. This is one type of practical single-mindedness that serves a purpose.
See Also: I Will Not Spiritualize My Singleness January 04 Humor: Celebrate the Joy of Being Single-“Happy Single’s Day”By Fishtail1776 I don’t want to “spiritualize” being single and I don’t want to make a religion out of it either. But hey! I think there should be a celebration day set aside for single people. I want to declare a day for “Happy Single’s Day”. Maybe this day should be on February 15th, the day after Valentine’s Day. That would be perfect for people getting divorces around this time of the year wouldn’t it? They could finalize their divorce on V-Day, and then celebrate on S-Day after doing a midnight victory dance. See Also: Do you Think We Should Have a “Single’s Day” as a National Celebration (a.k.a. holiday)? Being Single Won’t Get you to Heaven
There is something to be said to be content as a single person, but there is no need to make a religion out of it. Being single is not a ticket to heaven, but rather just a way of life here on earth that many people choose to live.
There doesn’t have to be some great mystical reason of the universe or some Divine reason why some people are single. It could be that God has not brought them the “right” person yet or it could be simply that they prefer to live alone and to have the freedom to make their own decisions.
Being single can be a gift, depending upon whether a person likes to be alone or not. However, there is no need to “insist” that being single is the “right” way to go because every person on this earth has different needs. As I said earlier, being single will not get you to heaven.
See Also: Your Life's Work-A Practical State of State of Single-mindedness |
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